Quick update

Our social worker is coming over tomorrow to go over the big paper packet for the homestudy. The appointment was supposed to be tonight at their office, but there was a scheduling snafu, so she offered to come to us tomorrow instead. This isn't the "official" home vist yet, so I don't have to bake anything. :-) Just hound Amanda to clean up her bathroom!

Bob is working on getting his German birth certificate. We had assumed, wrongly of course, that his Naturalization cert would be good enough. It's ok for the homestudy, but not for the dossier. I have no idea how long that will take.

We filled out the I-600A last night and will discuss mailing it vs. dropping it off with the social worker tomorrow. I want to do whatever is most efficient.

We still have to go apply for our passports. The pictures and paperwork are ready, we just have to find a time we can all go together.

We've settled on Adoptions International for our placement agency and hope to have the application done by Friday.

A little like pink lines

Well, I mailed off the home study app this morning. Last night, after it was signed, check written and in the envelope, I told Bob that I felt a little like I was seeing that second line on a pregnancy test. Terrified and thrilled at the same time, while still unsure if I believed what was happening.

Our birth, divorce and marriage certificates arrived yesterday. Unfortunately, I didn't know I'd need multiple copies for the dossier, so I only ordered one of each. But, they only took a week to get here anyway. Bob is a naturalized citizen, so we have to go through a different process to get his. And here's a really dumb observation, they want recent copies of these certificates. Why does this matter? It's not like it's subject to change! DH has multiple originals, but they're 35 years old, from when he entered the US with his parents. Not good enough. So, $30/copy just to have the recent date on it. Ugh.

We're going to get passport pictures tomorrow and get that taken care of next week. I only need to get my name changed on mine, but dh's is expired and Allison and Amanda don't have them.

Wow, can you tell I'm excited ... chatter, chatter, chatter!

Another meeting

We went to another agency information meeting last night with a local agency, CASI Foundation for Children. I really liked the people involved. I've decided to use them for our home study because the social worker was just great. I'm going to do the paperwork tonight and write the check to get that started. Woo-hoo!!!!

I'm still waffling about a placement agency. I really liked the program director last night, but am somewhat concerned that the program is small. Only 200 adoptions last year, and most of those from China, not Guatemala. They work with two attorneys in Guatemala and have only been doing so for a few years. The other program I'm looking at, HAPS, uses 7 that you can pick and choose from, and have been working with some of them for 13 years!

I'm leaning heavily to HAPS. I'm going to do BBB checks, look at Guidestar and ask both for references, but I think I'm going to be happy with either of them.

I can't remember if I mentioned this here before, but we've told my parents what we're doing. I think they were a little surprised, and I had to explain my own concerns about domestic adoption to my mom. She hadn't considered that a birth mother isn't highly likely to pick us over a young, wealthy couple with no children. She didn't know there are risks involved in a birthmom changing her mind and having to start all over again. But now I think she understands why we're heading the way we are and is very excited for us. Not to mention looking forward to a grandson.

Guapo Picnic

Originally posted 5/13/2006 at CIS:

We went to an adoption picnic today, a gathering of families throughout MD/DC/VA that have adopted from Guatemala. It was a fun afternoon and we got to meet a lot of people and see a lot of adorable kids. There were roughly 200 people, including the Ambassador from Guatemala.

Unfortunately, I'm no closer to picking an agency even after listening to other's advice. I think I'm going to have to flip a coin! We're going to another information meeting on Wednesday that I hope will start clearing some things up.

Here are some photos of Allison but you can also see some of the other cuties:

http://www.lordindustries.com/cindy/GuapoPicnic/index.html

Pregnant-via-adoption

Originally posted 5/11/2006 at CIS:

Morning sickness. Heh. It fits. I do feel a bit queasy about the whole thing. :-)

It's funny, on the miscarriage forum yesterday we were talking about this. There are only a few of us left that haven't gotten pregnant since our miscarriages. Now that I've mentally made the switch to adoption, I was explaining that I'm rather glad for it.

At my age (42), along with there being a less than 1% chance per cycle I'd conceive, there's a 50% miscarriage rate. I'm more comfortable on the adoption path than I ever was on the infertility treatment path. I felt like I was doing it for my dh, not because I really wanted to. At the end, my RE was pushing donor eggs as my only chance. Um, no thanks!

Anyway, I posted over there yesterday that it's reasonable to think that I might be "pregnant-by-adoption" now. There could be a Guatemalan woman that's carrying my baby boy right now and I'll be meeting him in eight months or so. I'm just so excited about that. And as an added bonus, I don't have to deal with the miscarriage terror.

First (Mis)steps

Originally posted 5/10/2006 at CIS:

Well, I tried to request my vital records (birth, divorce, marriage) certs that I need. I dutifully printed the requests from the Maryland web site, wrote my check for $60 (5 records @ $12 each) and headed off to the local health department, which according to the web site, would provide same day service.

I get there and find out they don't do marriage and divorce certificates, only birth. Ok, I void my $60 check and write a new one for $36. While I'm waiting for the folks in front of me to finish (they were going on a cruise for their neice's wedding and were getting passports), I noticed a sign that birth certificates were $20 each, not the $12 that the web site said. When I questioned it, they told me it was $12 to request by mail, but $20 in person. I thanked them for their time and gathered up my requests and left, certificate-less. And with two voided checks.

I hope this isn't a sign of difficulties to come!

Back at work, I requested everything online through Vital Check and should have everything in 10 days.

There is such a thing as TMI!

Originally posted 4/29/2006 at CIS:

Too much information, that is. I am absolutely overwhelmed with all of the choices of programs, agencies, facilitators, attorneys, etc., etc. Not to mention all of the internet resources and email lists. I'm about ready to cry. For sheer volume of choices, I'm comfortable dropping the Korea option. It just gets too overwhelming!

My plan is to first think about where the child is in Guatemala. I've found two children's homes, Casa Quivira and Semillas de Amor that both have very nice things about them. Then, there's also the foster programs. I don't really know how to research them directly.

Then, after making the children's home/foster care decision, to find an agency that works with my choice. Right now, I'm reading good things about HAPS, Adoptions International, and Adoptions Together (ATI) which is in MD, an extra bonus for the homestudy I think.

Finally, after picking an agency, to see who they recommend for the homestudy. However, that concerns me that I'm wasting time picking the agency before starting the homestudy. Should I just find a local agency I'm comfortable with to do the homestudy?

Bob is concerned about the financial end of things. We don't have to have all the money right away, right? Don't we just pay for the homestudy up front, half the agency fees upon referal and then the rest at the end? I haven't looked at that part of it much. I have about $15k available in cash. The rest is going to probably come from a home equity line we already have. Then we'll use the tax credit and my employer's new child bonus ($3.5k!) to pay off the equity line.

We also talked a lot about ethical issues last night. I was a little surprised about his concerns. When we were doing infertility treatments, he had no ethical problems with anything, so I was surprised to hear his concerns about "buying" babies. We talked a lot about the supply and demand issues and how adoption doesn't increase the supply, but the demand bids up the price. I think I resolved most of his issues.

Wow, I think the is the longest post I've ever made. And there's so much more rolling around my brain! What an adventure this is.

The day after

Originally posted 4/27/2006 at CIS:

It went well. But I think I came out with more questions than I went in with. We're going to look at other countries, maybe Korea, or maybe even domestic.

I found a local program, FACE (Families Adopting Children Everywhere) that offers a two-day workshop on the whole process. I like that it's not affiliated with a specific agency though Catholic Charities highly recommends their course. That runs for two Saturdays, May 13 and 20.

One concern I hadn't considered is other people's reactions to our blond-haired, blue-eyed biological child and our other child who will look nothing like us. I'd like to think there wouldn't be issues, but it's still something to consider.

Personally, I would have no problem at all loving a child of another race or ethnicity, but we live in a highly "homogenous" area where just about the only non-white people you see are adopted Chinese girls.

And so it begins

Originally posted on CIS on 4/26/2006:

Reading Annie's update today really, really got me thinking about adoption, so I decided to poke around the web a bit. Imagine my surprise to find an information program about International Adoptions, specifically from Guatemala, tonight at a location less than 20 minutes from my house.

I'm waiting to hear from Bob that he can get out of work early enough to make it, from the agency so that I can ask a few questions and register, and from Amanda to see if she'll watch Allison so we can go. So, if all three things come together in the next 4 hours, I just might be changing my mind about there being no such things as "signs". :-)